Don't Divorce: The Importance of Relationship Counseling

In today’s fast-paced and often emotionally overwhelming world, couples face a wide range of challenges that can put even the strongest relationships to the test. At New Horizons Counseling, located in Haleiwa on Oahu’s North Shore, couples have been finding help, hope, and healing since 1980. As a nationally recognized nonprofit counseling center, New Horizons has built a reputation for offering compassionate, skilled support for relationships in distress. Led by Mark Turansky, a Certified Substance Abuse Counselor and Internationally Certified Recovery Coach, the center focuses on relationship counseling, addiction recovery, anger management, and life coaching. Mark uses a directive, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) approach that emphasizes honest conversation, setting clear goals, and breaking the cycle of long-term conflict.

New Horizons Counseling in Haleiwa, Hawaii provides services that go beyond the traditional weekly therapy session. Their core offering for couples is a four-session counseling commitment designed to help identify toxic patterns, improve communication, and rebuild connection. For couples in deeper crisis or those needing more intensive care, the clinic also offers weekend retreats called “Relationship 911.” These immersive sessions allow couples to work on rebuilding their relationship in a focused, distraction-free setting. In addition, New Horizons offers individual and family therapy, along with addiction support and coaching, all centered on actionable steps and compassionate guidance.

The key to saving a struggling relationship often lies in the timing of when help is sought. Research shows that most couples wait an average of 2.7 years after the first signs of trouble before seeking professional support. By this time, the emotional damage has often accumulated to a point where resolution becomes far more difficult. Despite this, many couples still delay or avoid counseling entirely. A staggering 50% of divorcing couples report that they never tried counseling, and only 19% sought therapy before separation was seriously considered. These statistics are sobering, especially when paired with data showing that couples who do engage in counseling have success rates between 50% to 60%. More specialized forms of couples therapy, such as Integrative Behavioral Couples Therapy (IBCT), have demonstrated effectiveness rates approaching 69%.

As societal norms continue to shift, counseling is increasingly seen as a proactive relationship skill rather than a last-ditch effort to save a failing marriage. Among Millennials and Gen Z, there is growing recognition of therapy as an emotional investment rather than a sign of weakness. Premarital counseling, once considered optional, is now being embraced by 30% to 45% of engaged couples. Younger generations are also more likely to view couples therapy as a form of emotional maintenance—like going to the gym for your relationship. This cultural shift underscores the importance of removing the stigma around seeking help, especially early in a relationship’s decline.

Avoiding or delaying counseling can carry high emotional and financial costs. Divorce still affects approximately 40% to 50% of first marriages, and up to 73% of second and third marriages. The personal impact is compounded by financial burdens, with the average divorce costing families upwards of $20,000 to $30,000. Beyond the couple, children of divorced parents face elevated risks of behavioral, academic, and long-term emotional challenges, making the decision to end a relationship without seeking help particularly consequential.

At New Horizons Counseling in Haleiwa, Hawaii, the emphasis is not just on staying together at all costs, but on creating a safe, nonjudgmental environment where couples can explore whether they can repair what’s broken—or part ways with clarity and compassion. Therapy is not a guarantee of reconciliation, but it can provide vital tools for communication, conflict resolution, emotional regulation, and understanding. Even when couples ultimately decide to separate, counseling can help them do so with less hostility and more mutual respect.

Seeking help does not mean admitting failure. It means you are willing to invest in the relationship’s potential—whether to heal it or to bring it to a respectful, informed conclusion. With sessions facilitated using the latest in telehealth technologies from the comfort of your own environment, New Horizons Counseling welcomes couples from across Oahu to take that first courageous step toward clarity. Services are available Monday through Saturday, from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., and appointments can be scheduled by calling (808) 484‑1000 or emailing newhorizonshawaii@gmail.com.

If you and your partner are feeling stuck, disconnected, or overwhelmed, now is the time to act. A simple commitment to four sessions may be all it takes to change the course of your relationship—for the better.